I remember when Quai was about four and I had to sit him down and explain that he had to start wearing underwear when he was playing outside because it was making the neighbors uncomfortable. And I remember the baffled look on his little face and the “But, WHY?!!!!” that was filled with so much anguish that you’d think I was asking him to cut off his foot and sacrifice it to the monster living under his bed. And I distinctly remember thinking, “Huh, so this is my life now? I have to tell someone to put their penis away?” Little did I know that eight years and two more sons later, “you have to wear pants in public” would only be one of the countless crazy things I’d have to say in my own house.