It’s probably because most of my friends are the kind of people who just skip the whole marriage thing and go straight to getting knocked up that I haven’t had to deal with too many weddings. But about two years ago, Jim’s best friend decided to ask his girlfriend to marry him and that all changed. And with the big day now looming close on the horizon, this upcoming marriage has begun to become very inconvenient for me in many ways, including but not limited to:
- Man-friend’s newly renewed fear of commitment, as any type of commitment will undoubtedly result in the worst kind – Lifelong Commitment.
- The $25.00 I just spent buying someone else a new set of baking dishes as a shower gift is $25.oo I can’t spend on things like, oh I don’t know, gas or food.
- When hanging out with or hearing about engaged people, the focus revolves entirely around them and their wedding. This leaves very little focus left for me and my awesome.
But none of these things, not even having to whisper into the deep dark nights “I promise not to make you miserable and take half of your money” while Man-Friend holds his pillow in terror, has caused as much distress as this portion of an email I recently received from the mother of the bride in regards to the upcoming bridal shower:
“I also sent cards for everyone to give her a recipe. You can just write your recipe on a piece of paper or index card and I’ll transfer it onto the actual recipe card. If this is something you want to do.”
If this is something you want to do. . . like I have a choice. Like I’ll dare be the only woman at the shower not giving the wife to be a recipe. And really it shouldn’t be a problem except that all of my recipes involve three easy steps- 1. Pour contents of box into bowl 2. Cover with milk 3. Eat.
This is probably why I’m not the one getting married right now.
I thought about just copying down a recipe from Pioneer Woman’s stash but they want it on a recipe card size and I’m almost positive that all the supercool pictures with her recipes wouldn’t fit. I could copy one out of one of the cookbooks in the kitchen collecting dust but that almost feels like cheating. And cheating at recipe giving is one thing I just won’t do.
So I’ve been stressing over this recipe thing for a few days now and have come to a conclusion. Since I have none of my own, I’ll give her one of my dear old Nanny’s tried and true recipes. I’m pretty sure your grandmother’s recipes count as your own recipes so this IS NOT considered recipe giving cheating. If you disagree, feel free to voice your concerns to me at email@example.com.
While I was writing this recipe down, it occurred to me that maybe I should share the recipe with you too, Internet. Just don’t claim it as your own. This one’s all me Nanny.
There it is.
Internet, you’re welcome.